What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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