"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
