So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
