that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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