So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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