so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He shit in the fireplace
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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