That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Randomize
