So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
