At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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