I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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