My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
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You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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