Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
