mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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