You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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