one might say we're banned from that church
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize