There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize