For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
