I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
