grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
