That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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