I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
