I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
