yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
