my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The power of my boobs compel you
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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