Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize