im drinking this country out of the recession.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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