therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My feet surprised me
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
