I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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