Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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