WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
