i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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