It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
