I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
