i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize