haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
