I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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