we're blogging at a bar
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
