well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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