At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
