Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize