**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you win again, gameday.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
whose parrot is this?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
