That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
