Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
