dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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