A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
