absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
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In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
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I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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