Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize