Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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