Non-Jews are for practice
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
