I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
