i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
