Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
