doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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