there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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