the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
