she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
