Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
