hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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