he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize