tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
